Okay, so I know I have written numerous posts on my blog about starting over but I do believe this is definitely the last time. I am ready to get back to blogging, exercising, feeling better, getting healthier, motivating others, etc. I could go on and on and on about everything I "miss" about losing weight. It FAR outweighs gaining weight which is what I have been doing over the last 5-6 months. I updated my tracker at the top of the blog and as you can tell, I have gained back 30 pounds of the 55 I had lost. Ouch.
I have been so frustrated lately because I cannot seem to find my "groove" again. I am trying desperately to find that rhythm back again. There are days when I am back "on" writing down my food, watching my intake, exercising, etc. and then I go right back to days where I don't want to even think about eating healthy foods, exercising, or watching what I am putting in my body. Unfortunately, I have more days like the latter. I have really been soul searching and trying to figure out why I am reverting back to my old ways and I think I have come across several reasons why: 1) I am tackling a doctorate degree right now which has added a lot of stress but good stress 2) I have a husband who works 12 hour shifts nights/days that don't match my routine 3) I am home by myself a lot due to my husband's job so I am hanging around the house by myself watching TV, etc. 4) I am stressed out at school this year due to numerous reasons that I didn't have last year 5) I am once again tackling too many things at once and not focusing on myself which is probably my biggest problem.
As you can see, my list of reasons why I have reverted back to my old habits could go on and on and on. The bottom line: I stopped caring about ME. I started to focus on a million and one other things and continue to say "yes" to people when they ask me to do something. I am a people pleaser and I LOVE helping others out but at the same time I need to find balance in my life so I can be successful in my weightloss journey again. I am not stopping my pursuit of my doctorate degree so that isn't going away any time soon but I can make lemonade out of the other "lemons" in my life right now.
I know this weight will be an issue my whole-entire-life. I will always have a weight problem because of PCOS BUT I can try my best to control it. I have to make time to exercise and I have to make time to write down my food intake to keep myself accountable. I also have to pray daily that God will continue to walk with me through this journey. I know I keep telling myself "I can do it on my own" but I can't...obviously.
One of the books I read last year that really helped me change my way of thinking was Lysa TerKeurst's book Made to Crave. Her book is about how we should crave time with God instead of craving foods or other idols in our lives. The book is phenomenal and if you see Amazon.com's ratings, others agree with me. She also has a 60 day devotional book that is coming out on Tuesday!! I would HIGHLY recommend checking her books out. I will revisit Made to Crave again over Christmas break and will start the devotional book as soon as it comes in the mail this week! :) I already pre-ordered it from Amazon.com. :) She also has a free 21 day email devotional that you can sign up for here.
Bear with me as I get back on track again. My one year anniversary of starting my weightloss journey is coming up in 5 days and I was hoping that I would be down about 100 pounds BUT life got in the way and I didn't make that goal BUT I am NOT giving up. I will continue to do my best every day to make an extra effort to get healthy for ME.