Frustrated? Unmotivated? Failure? How These Words Go Together

Frustrated? Unmotivated? Failure? How do these words go together?

They fit my life right now. I have been through about a 2 1/2 month struggle with getting back on plan. Those of you who have tried to lose weight before, you can relate to this I am sure. It happens to everyone at some point. I promised that I would be real here because I truly started this blog to chart my journey through weightloss. It has turned into so much more and I count my blessings every day! Since I want to be honest with you, I am laying it out on the line in this blog post. I hope that this will help me clear my mind, get back on track, and maybe even help someone else that is stuck in this same situation. So...here it is...the truth but also some inspiration to climb back on and continue the ride of my life!

It all started when school ended in June. I started out great, excited to have so much free time on my hands to go to the gym, workout whenever, cook healthy meals, travel to farmer's markets, etc. I was doing such a great job and was so proud of myself that I had actually changed my lifestyle for good. Remember that saying your mom used to tell you, "don't count your chickens before they hatch?" Yeh, I did that. I honestly was so confident in myself because I had lost over 50 pounds that I thought, "yeh, I got this!" Then life happened and got in the way.

Around mid-summer I went to Hilton Head with my family and enjoyed some a-m-a-z-i-n-g meals BUT I also exercised every morning because I knew I was going to be eating horribly at night when we went out with various companies. If you remember, I wrote a blog post about staying on track even on vacation. Yep, at that point, I was still going strong! Once we got back home, it happened. Shawn started working a shift that was way out of our normal schedule, I started getting anxious about the summer ending and trying to get everything done I had on my "summer to-do list" before school started, and honestly, was FRUSTRATED because the scale had not moved at all in about a month. So, I started slowly getting back into old habits.

Fast forward to the end of July, my family spent a week at Edisto and during that time I did not exercise at all. My excuse---wait for it---"I'm on vacation and I deserve this." Ok, good try but NO! No matter if I am on vacation or not, I still need to exercise to keep my body healthy and feeling good. I took the easy way out and made an excuse to eat whatever I wanted, drank a few alcoholic beverages, and sat on my fanny. I kept telling myself, I am getting back on the program when I get home, I will get back next week, etc. etc. etc. Did it happen? No. It is called----unmotivated. Unmotivated to continue, unmotivated to eat right, unmotivated to cook healthy meals, unmotivated to go to the gym, unmotivated to count my calories, unmotivated to write down what I am eating, 100% unmotivated to continue.

I did have one good thing come out of this time which was coming across Isagenix which I have blogged about several times recently. I absolutely LOVE the chocolate shakes and they are so good for me. They keep me feeling balanced, energized, and clear-minded. Not only do they do all of those things but they are simple and easy. I can make one quickly in the morning on the way to work and I make one for lunch at school. They keep me full and help me keep my calories in check. The problem I am having is dinner. Shawn and I have gotten back into the "out-to-eat" mode lately and it is killing me! I have decided that I have to go "cold-turkey" again to get out of the habit. There are some nights that I am so tired from these first few weeks of school that I cannot imagine cooking dinner but instead of grabbing something convenient, I need to think of some quick, easy, and healthy dinners that I have made in the past. I have to get back to planning my meals.

I am also ashamed to tell you that I honestly feel like a failure. Now, after 2 1/2 months of seeing nothing on the scale has made me ask myself several times, "can I do it?" "Is this the end?" "Can I loose any more weight?" Of course all of these are not true but I am back in the old mind frame that I was in months ago. I have to snap out of it. I am truly thankful that I started this blog in December because it shows me "proof" that I CAN do it! I CAN continue on my journey. I WILL lose the weight. I WILL life a healthy lifestyle. I just have to continue to pump those positive messages into my head until it "clicks" again. I don't want to feel like a failure but I do. I think we all do at some point but we shouldn't. No one is a failure, you can always bounce back and most of the time you bounce back stronger than before. That is my hope!

So, starting fresh again...these are my goals for the next week. I am going to take it little by little until I build myself back up to where I was.
-Exercise at least 20 minutes a day. (Going to walk RIGHT AFTER I finish this post, PROMISE!) :)
-Write down my meals (luckily my shakes stay the same so I just need to concentrate on my snacks and dinner)
-Create a meal plan for the week
-Post on my blog daily (it keeps me in-check)
-Re-read one of my weightloss motivational books
-Treat myself to a few new music downloads to motivate me to walk/run
-Weight myself every morning (I know many people recommend not doing this but it helps me so I do it, I like to see the numbers daily to keep me in-check)

I want to share with you this quote I found,
"Your journey has molded you for a greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time." –Asha Tyson

This quote is so powerful to me. I honestly believe that this journey is just the beginning of an incredible life and every situation that I have encountered has brought me to this point for whatever reason. I have seen success and I have experienced failure but I wouldn't change it for the world. It is going to make me a stronger and better person than before and that is something that I am looking forward to as I jump back on this ride!

Thank you for hanging on with me! I hope that those of you who have or who are "stuck" in this situation with me will break free from it with me. Remember to change one small thing a day and they will end up adding into a BIG thing eventually. I need to get back to concentrating on myself because I am my own BEST INVESTMENT. I only have one body, one life and I need to do everything I can do make the best of it! Thank you for being my cheerleaders in this long but life-changing journey! I couldn't do it without all of you!!